What makes a great parent?
A good parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the child.
What can make a great parent is not only identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not have to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. No child is ideal either … keeping this in mind is important when we set the expectations of ours.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. But it doesn't imply that we shouldn't work to that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then the children of ours second. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
Here are ten suggestions for a terrific parenting experience, including how to stay away from bad parenting, and be an even better parent.
They aren't all that simple or quick.
And most likely nobody is capable of doing them constantly.
Even though you might not always do all of these things, but the suggestions in this parenting guide can help you move in the right direction.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell your child what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we are able to learn by imitation. We're programmed to imitate others' actions, comprehend them, and integrate them in to our personal. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
So, be the individual you would like the child of yours to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child's emotion - and your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Demonstrate your love.
There is no such thing as loving the child of yours a lot of. To love them cannot spoil them.
Only what you decide to do (or give) in the title of love can - things like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over protection. When these items are given in place of real love, that is when you will have a spoiled child.
Loving the child of yours may be as simple as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also listening to your child's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love is able to trigger the release of feel good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals can provide us a full sense of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the kid, will develop resilience and never to mention a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Infants are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) with comparatively few connections. These connections create the thoughts of ours, drive our actions, shape the personalities of ours, and basically determine who we are. They're created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They'll then be able to see positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections in your child's brain and create the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it appears to be hard to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior problems. But it's possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a great parent means you need to teach your child the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind whenever you set rules and implement them. Concentrate on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be a chance for them to learn for the future in a positive manner, rather than to get punished for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR The CHILD of yours
Tey letting your child know that you will remain there for them by being responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to the needs of theirs. Support and accept the child of yours as an individual. Be a warm and safe place for the child of yours to explore from and go back to.
Children raised by parents who are consistently responsive have much better psychological regulation development, social skills development, and emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us know already the value of communication. Talk to your child and also listen to them carefully. By maintaining an open line of communication, you'll have a better connection with the child of yours and your kid will come to you when there's a problem.
But there's another reason behind communication. You help your child integrate different parts of their brain, a critical process in a kid's development.
Integration is similar to our body, in which different organs must coordinate and work in concert to have a healthy body. When various parts of the brain are incorporated, they are able to work harmoniously as an entire, meaning less tantrums, more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better mental well-being.
To do that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask the child of yours to explain what happened and the way they felt developing attuned communication.
You do not have to provide solutions. You don't need to have all the answers to become an excellent parent. Simply paying attention to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple are going to help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
Many of us want to parent differently from our parents. Even people who had an excellent upbringing and a thankful childhood may want to change several elements of how they were brought up.
But really frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is a step towards understanding why we parent how we do. Make note of things you would like changing and think of how you would get it done differently in a real scenario. Try to be aware and change the behavior of yours the next time those issues come up.
Do not quit if you do not succeed in the beginning. It takes practice, lots of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Pay attention to Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents need relief also.
Give consideration to your own well-being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including your own needs or maybe the health of your marriage are placed on the back burner when a child is born. When you don't pay attention to them, they are going to become bigger problems down the road. Make time to strengthen your relationship with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents are more vulnerable to fighting. Don't hesitate to ask for parenting assistance. Having some "me time" for self care and stress management is important to revitalize the mind.
How parents take proper care of their child physically and mentally can make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, your child is going to suffer, too.
#8: Don't SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking is able to result in short-term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed help for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the kid right from wrong. It only teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The child will be motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to your child that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or hit is much more prone to fighting with other children. They're more likely in order to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later in daily life, they are also far more apt to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, even worse parent-child relationships, mental health problems, along with domestic violence victims or abusers.
There are an assortment of more effective alternatives to discipline that have been shown to be much more effective, like positive discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What's the goal of yours in raising a child?
If you are like the majority of parents, you would like your child to do well in school, be productive, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy good associations along with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
But just how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
When you are like the majority of parents, you most likely spend the majority of the time simply trying to get through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole-Brain child, instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back. Think about what anger and frustration will do for you or your child.
Instead, look for ways to switch each bad experience right into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be turned into invaluable brain-sculpting moments if you focus on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what is already known by scientists.
To parent is among the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting techniques, practices, or traditions have been scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for increasing a child and information that are supported by science, here's one of my favorite science based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all approach. Every child is different. Quite possibly within the very best parenting style, there can be many different good parenting methods you can choose based on your child's temperament.
A very good example is using spanking to discipline. There are numerous better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You can choose a non punitive discipline method that actually works best for the child of yours.
Naturally, you can additionally choose to use "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also might still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has shown us that kids with different temperaments react to the quality of parenting differently.
Those people who are more susceptible to parenting quality is going to have better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those people who are less prone may "turn out fine" no matter how strong their parents treat them. But it does not mean those practices are great. These children are simply fortunate. They can thrive despite poor parenting, not because of it.
Why take a possibility with sub-par parenting practices if you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting cannot be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice https://parentinghowto.com/ may not be the simplest way to parent. It may require much more work on the part of yours in the short term but can save you lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it's also really rewarding. The bad part is the rewards usually come later than the hard work. But in case we try our best today, we will ultimately reap the rewards and have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!